Culture & Society

Nepal is forgiving of foreigners who get things wrong, which is precisely why nobody corrects you. You can commit the same small offence for a year and never be told - people absorb it politely. A short list of conventions, understood early, removes most of that friction and is noticed immediately when you observe it.

Greeting

Namaste, palms together at chest height, with a slight bow. For someone notably senior, namaskar carries more respect. Handshakes are common in business and among men, less so across genders - follow the other person's lead rather than extending first.

Age and seniority structure almost every interaction. Older people are greeted first, served first and deferred to, and this is not merely polite form - it is how respect is demonstrated and read. The formality levels in the language encode the same hierarchy grammatically.

Shoes

Off before entering a home, almost always, and off before entering temples and many shrines. Watch the doorway - where there are shoes outside, yours join them.

Shoes are also not placed on tables, beds or anywhere food is prepared or eaten, and leather items may be unwelcome in some temple precincts.

The right hand, and jutho

Two linked ideas that are worth real attention because they govern every meal.

Use the right hand for giving, receiving, eating and passing anything. The left is reserved for washing, and using it to hand something over reads badly. Offering or receiving with both hands is a mark of particular respect.

Jutho is the concept of ritual impurity transmitted by saliva, and it has no equivalent in Western manners. Food or drink that has touched your mouth - or the utensil, cup or bottle that has - becomes jutho and is not shared.

In practice this means:

• Pour water into your mouth without the bottle touching your lips, so the bottle stays shareable. You will see everyone doing this.
• Do not offer someone a bite of what you are eating, or a sip from your glass.
• Do not taste from the serving dish with the spoon you are eating with.
• Serve onto plates rather than everyone picking from a communal dish with their own utensils.

Breaking this is the most common unnoticed offence foreigners commit, and because food is hospitality here, it is the one that lands worst.

Heads and feet

The head is the most sacred part of the body and the feet the least. Do not touch an adult's head, including affectionately. Do not point your feet at a person, at a shrine or at food, and do not step over someone sitting or lying down - walk around.

If you accidentally touch someone with your foot, a quick touch of your hand to the person and then to your own forehead is the standard apology and will be appreciated.

Food

Beef is not eaten - the cow is sacred and slaughter is prohibited - and buffalo, written as "buff", appears in its place. Many people are vegetarian, and many observe restrictions on particular days.

Hospitality is generous and refusing food outright is awkward. Accepting a small amount is the graceful move. Restaurants and food covers what you will actually be eating.

Dress

Modest by default, more so outside Kathmandu. Shoulders and knees covered is a safe standard for everyone at temples and in rural areas, and women in particular will find conservative dress removes unwanted attention.

Kathmandu's younger urban crowd dresses much as anywhere, so the city itself is relaxed - the gap opens as soon as you leave it.

Temples and shrines

Walk clockwise around stupas and shrines. Remove shoes and sometimes leather. Some Hindu temples are closed to non-Hindus entirely, and the restriction is not negotiable or personal - signs are not always in English, so follow what others do.

Do not touch offerings, do not climb on statues or stupas for photographs, and ask before photographing ceremonies or people at prayer.

Photography

Ask first, always, particularly with elderly people, women, religious practitioners and children. A gesture at the camera and a questioning look is enough and is usually met warmly.

Some sites charge a camera fee and some prohibit photography inside. Both are worth respecting without argument.

Time

Appointments are approximate, and the gap between a stated time and an actual arrival is wider than in northern European or North American practice. This is not disregard; it is a different convention about how firmly a time binds.

Business and formal meetings are tighter than social arrangements. Arrive on time yourself and build slack into your own schedule.

Quick reference

Situation	Do
Meeting someone	Namaste, palms together, greet the eldest first
Entering a home or temple	Shoes off
Giving or receiving	Right hand, or both hands for respect
Drinking from a shared bottle	Pour without touching your lips
Offering food you have tasted	Do not - it is jutho
Near a child or adult	Do not touch the head
Sitting	Keep feet from pointing at people, shrines or food
Walking round a stupa	Clockwise
Taking a photograph	Ask first
Visiting outside the city	Dress modestly

Where this goes wrong

• Sharing food or a water bottle. The jutho rule is invisible until you break it.
• Using the left hand to give or receive.
• Patting a child's head. Affectionate where you come from, not here.
• Photographing people without asking, especially at prayer.
• Entering a temple without checking whether non-Hindus may.
• Reading approximate timekeeping as rudeness. It is a convention, not a judgement.

Where to go next

The language and these conventions reinforce each other - the formality levels make sense once the hierarchy does. For the social structures underneath, community.